Motherhood Expectations vs Reality

Thursday, April 18, 2019

I had so many thoughts about how motherhood would be before I became a mother, and I know I'm not the only woman who did that, too.  Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being Harrison's momma.  There's nothing like looking at his sweet face and having him stare back at me or being able to calm Harrison when he's upset.  But there are some things that are different than what I expected them to be...

Expectation: Harrison would be on a schedule.
Reality:  NOPE!  I read Moms on Call a long time ago with the plan of putting whatever baby we had on a schedule.  Except Harrison was born premature and put into the NICU for 11 days on the NICU's schedule.  Then with his reflux problems and trying different formulas, there was no way I could try to get him on a schedule.  Now that's he's 7 weeks, I think we're ready to try the MOC schedule--just about 6 weeks later than I had thought haha!  He's finally going a little longer than 3 hours between feedings at night, so I think he's ready to try!

Expectation: I would have plenty of time to get done what I need to (cleaning, reading, working out, etc) since babies sleep most of the time.
Reality:  I still am not sure how it's been so tough for me to get anything accomplished???  I feel like I'm barely able to get the dishwasher loaded and unloaded every day, so there's no way I even have time to think about working out.  And sometimes I try to nap once a day when he's napping--especially if he didn't sleep much the night before.

Expectation:  Feeding would be a breeze.
Reality:  I feel enslaved to bottle feeding haha!  Harrison is such a slow eater so it takes him 30-40 minutes to drink his bottle.  Then we have to keep him on our shoulder for about 10 minutes after because of his reflux.  Then we change his diaper.  Sometimes I feel like I've spent an hour doing all of that and then he eats again 2 hours later.  This is definitely way different than I thought it would be!

If you're a mom, is there anything I left off of this list that applied to you?  I'd love to hear!


  1. I honestly thought I'd have so much time to get stuff done while Sophia napped and I was on maternity leave...not the case at all! Although I did walk with her everywhere so that was nice! xo, Biana

  2. I always would make sure my babies were awake, or at least enough awake, at ten to fill them full with a bottle of formula and rice cereal, a clean diaper, comfy gown, and sleep them on their tummies....with their cute little bottom poked out cause they squish up their knees.....oh so cute! They would sleep like champs until around 4 where sometimes just a nuk nuk would be needed, and 7 we were up raring to go! Party time until around! You are doing so great and you both are beautiful!

  3. Totally agree on the schedule and feeding! I read MOC and thought my daughter would be on a strict schedule at 2 weeks old. Ha! But, rather than a schedule we have a "routine" and that works pretty well for us. I also bottle fed and thought it would be super stressed me out! I would wonder why isn't she finishing all the ounces? Why isn't she hungry yet? Is she hungry or just sleepy? I didn't consider how much babies are learning how to eat in the early weeks and how their stomachs adjust.

  4. Oh, this post brings back so many memories! Good memories, because newborn babies are so precious. But also tough memories, because it can feel so frustrating when all you think you've accomplished in the day is one big cycle of feeding, changing, and rocking. I nursed my son, and he didn't sleep more than 3 hours at a time until he was 8 months old and he finally was interested in some solids. Zzzz...I was tired!

  5. I thought I would be on a schedule too! I read Babywise, but my little guy was never into "eat, wake, sleep." He would eat, sleep, eat or eat, wake, eat at different times of the day. My pediatrician gave me the advice to be consistent with bedtime and regular feedings, and then let him develop his own natural pattern. Once we started doing this, I learned when the best times were to put him down for a nap and could plan my days better. There's so much advice out there, but you just have to do what's right for you and your baby. Hang in there!

  6. Yep, right there with you on all of this! Especially trying to get things done during maternity leave. Never happened! Lol.

  7. Polly is 7 months old and I don't remember the last time I "did something." You've already blogged more in 7 weeks than I have in 7 months. ;)

  8. Yes, babies bring so many adjustments, especially the first one. But, hang in there, it will get easier and it will become second nature for you. You are doing a good job! Happy Easter!

  9. You will have time to do all the cleaning later. Nap when he naps. Enjoy every minute it changes fast. (I know you are) Every stage is fun, tiring, and sometimes you just have to hand the baby to dad and take a walk, or soak in the tub it will do wonders for your mentality.

  10. It is a special, fleeting moment with newborns, that is also a very tiring time, but sounds like you are doing great doing the most important things. There are so many seasons and changes to motherhood, so keep enjoying this one as it will change soon. And one day, you will sleep all night again :). It does take some time to train them the difference between night and day, so hang in there and keep counting the little victories. Happy Easter to your family!

  11. I was surprised how little time I had to do things too. And I felt the same about breastfeeding that you do about bottles (but felt more pressure because I wasn’t comfortable bfeeding in public so I always had to time things out with her feeding and getting somewhere).
    I don’t think I expected that some days would be as hard as they were. Especially before babies can start smiling. There was a lot of second guessing “am I doing this right? Does she like this?”


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