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Our Struggle with Infertility

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

I’m so nervous to share this publically but I’ve felt a nudging sensation that can only be the Lord and the more I push it away the more disobedient I become.  I hope that our story points you to God’s goodness in the midst of our suffering.

            September of this year will be two years of Dustin and I actively trying to have children.  That’s so hard for me to wrap my mind around it because I never thought that we would be a couple that struggles to get pregnant.  It’s been hard, but it hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would (until recently) because the Lord has been so gracious to us in this time of suffering.  Trusting in God’s plan for our family hasn’t always been the easiest but God is forever good and knowing and repeating that truth has made all the difference.  I’ve learned that I struggle so much with wanting to feel in control of my life and having children by a certain age is definitely something that I’ve tried to control.

            To summarize quickly, after lots of fertility medicine and a few IUIs along with switching to a new fertility doctor, I found out that I had severe endometriosis and had surgery in December of 2016.  I had no idea and found out that my pain tolerance is extremely high.  I didn’t really want anyone to know about that surgery because I assumed that once people knew it was because I had endometriosis then they would automatically assume we were trying to get pregnant.  Our parents didn’t even know at this point because we had dreamed of ideas on how to surprise them with a pregnancy announcement.  While I was still in recovery, the doctor told Dustin that she wasn’t expecting my endometriosis to be so bad and that she honestly felt like IVF would be our best option to get pregnant.  December was a very hard month for me.  Recovery from surgery was rough and then being faced with the news that getting pregnant naturally would be extremely difficult was a lot to deal with that month.  We finally told our families and close friends after Christmas.

            One thing God has blessed us with through infertility is that our faith has grown tremendously.  Knowing that the only lasting joy comes through Christ and resting in the biblical truths of God have been the only things that have made this suffering bearable.  Once Dustin and I were referred to our first fertility doctor, our prayer was for God to give us clarity in the direction He wanted us to take.  I prayed that prayer all the time, and after my follow up surgery visit with my current doctor, we felt a calm in choosing the path of IVF.  Even starting IVF and during IVF I was still praying for clarity and wisdom.

We are so thankful that our insurance covers a majority of the medicine because both boxes contain THOUSANDS of dollars worth of medicines!

            We were supposed to start my IVF meds late February to give my body time to heal from surgery, but it wouldn’t cooperate and I didn’t get to start until late April.  What I didn’t know about IVF is that you begin birth control for a few weeks to suppress your hormones before beginning the shots that are supposed to ramp up your hormones.

Nightly stim meds

            My first round of IVF meds began late April and were stopped on Day 8 because my body wasn’t responding to the meds like they were supposed to.  That was upsetting to both Dustin and I because based on the calendar they gave us, I would be pregnant over Mother’s Day and have my actual blood test confirmation a few days after.  Obviously that was something I was excited about, and I was devastated when the doctor cancelled my round.  That Mother’s Day was hard for me and I’m so thankful that Dustin took that day off of work so that I wouldn’t have to be alone.  Dustin has been the best supporter and encourager throughout this entire journey, and I know that I couldn’t do it without him by my side. 




My shot each night for stim meds

            I was put back on birth control and given my next calendar which had me starting my new meds on July 2.  Because I went up on my dosage over double, I had to be extremely careful.  I couldn’t do anything to jar my pelvis because I was at a high risk of twisting my ovaries.  Dustin drew up and administered my shots so I never worried about anything (this may be the only time I've ever been thankful for his type 1 diabetes!  Thankful the Lord prepared him in advance to give all of my shots!).  All of my stim meds were administered in my stomach and by the time we had finished all of those, I had bruises all over my stomach from the meds. 

 My stomach is swollen because my ovaries are so huge.

My poor body was bruised and beaten up but I've realized that you'll go through anything for what you want.

My first check up showed that my follicles (the sacs inside your ovaries that contain the eggs) weren’t growing again like they were supposed to.  I cried at that visit because it was the exact same thing that had happened the previous round.  But it was Dustin who pointed me to Christ and told me to trust that God was sovereign over that moment.  (See, I married a really amazing man!)  My next appointment was on a Sunday morning at 7:30 AM and my mom went with me.  That appointment confirmed that my body was doing what it should and that my follicles were growing.

 Going through our retrieval checklist while Dustin preps my trigger shot

trigger shot

            Once we found out that my body had made it, we then scheduled egg retrieval for July 13.  I was so nervous.  Dustin had to give me my trigger shot 36 hours before and it’s intramuscular.  I had to battle the fear of the trigger shot not working correctly and there not being any eggs to retrieve.  Worry and control are things I have to really work on, and it’s really been pointed out to me during our struggle with infertility.  The retrieval went great and we ended up with 3 embryos….3 babies.

Ready for retrieval!  

            Since the meds I had been on were so strong, my doctor had originally planned for us to do a frozen embryo transfer because my body would need time to calm down hormonally.  But since my body did great, she scheduled a fresh transfer 5 days after retrieval.  Dustin and I decided together not to tell anyone about this.  IVF robs a couple of the ability to surprise their friends and families with a pregnancy.  We knew that this would be our chance to still surprise everyone. 

            The transfer was on July 18 and we chose to transfer 2 embryos.  It went exactly as it should and once Dustin and I made it back to the car, I burst into tears because at that point, I was pregnant for the first time.  I stared at the picture of our babies and was so thankful to God that He brought us that far.  One of the things I’ve really learned through suffering with infertility is that you have to have good theology if you’re going to survive.  Throughout this entire process I’ve rested in the truth that God is good always—in the dark times and in the joyous times.  He’s good and He never changes even when our circumstances and plans change.

 We had just arrived to the hospital before our embryo transfer.  We were so excited to become parents!



This was taken right before we were taken back for the embryo transfer.

Our pregnancy test bloodwork was scheduled for Thursday, July 27.  I’ve read that most women who go through IVF take home pregnancy tests before but since the days before our appointment were Dustin’s birthday and then our anniversary, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I woke up on our anniversary, July 26th, with spotting.  I knew at that moment that I wasn’t pregnant.  I was devastated.  I cried a lot that day—I mourned the loss of our two babies while feeling incredibly guilty that Dustin had to rearrange our anniversary plans that he had made because I couldn’t make it in public.  I wanted that day to be a happy day, but I just couldn’t do it.  The next morning we had an appointment in Huntsville for my bloodwork.  I woke up feeling okay and inside I was hoping that I was wrong—that I was pregnant.  We got the call that afternoon and I made Dustin answer the phone.  After he told me I wasn’t pregnant, I immediately became angry.  Angry that I was right the day beforehand, angry that my body was betraying me yet again, and angry that we couldn’t have the children we constantly prayed for while so many women around me got pregnant so easily.  I did not want to read my Bible that night or pray, but I did ask God to not let my heart harden from this experience.

Our two precious babies--at that moment, I was pregnant and we were so very happy

Infertility is hard.  It’s hard when you want something so bad, but you know that it wasn’t in God’s timing—but He is still good.  Even when I don’t feel it (and I didn’t when I found out we weren’t pregnant), I still KNOW and that’s the most important thing.  I’ve learned that it’s okay to allow myself to feel angry and upset because the Psalms are filled with people crying out to God in their suffering, but those same Psalms also end with praising God for His goodness and grace.  I allowed myself the 27th to be angry, and then when I woke up the next morning, God had given me a new day.  My ultimate purpose here on this Earth is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.  That is my focus.  And although Dustin and I still hurt from losing 2 babies, in a way we’ve become thankful for our suffering.  Our marriage has grown, our relationships with the Lord have grown, and we’re going to be so much better parents because we know the purpose of our parenting—to point our children toward Christ.  I can see that God is shaping us and preparing us, and even though the wait is hard and painful and we don’t understand why, we trust in Him.


This is just a small glimpse into the struggle of infertility that we’re dealing with currently.  I hope to share our entire story at a later time.  Please, please pray for us as we long to be parents.  Pray for our wisdom in the decisions we make and pray that we keep our eyes focused on Christ.  Above all, I hope that you see God’s goodness in our story.  This Bible verse has been one that I constantly repeat to myself: “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” Isaiah 26: 3-4

67 comments:

  1. I am lifting you in prayer now sweet friend!! I too struggled for years with infertility, lost a child and now look, we have three gorgeous sons, two by birth, one adopted. It WILL happen for you, the road is long, the road is hard but God is GOOD!!!! You have my support and love and I am sending you a HUGE HUG right now.

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    1. Am Hellen, thanks to Dr oniha who cured me of INREGULAR MENSTRATION and fibroid with his herbal MEDICATION. My marriage was on the verge of collapsing, because I was unable to bear a child for my husband. Until I came across Dr ONIHA's recommendation onLine,of how he has helped numerous of childless couples to have children with the help of his wonderful herbal medication, and I contacted him. And he administered his herbs on me.within the space of two months, i became pregnant, I now have a child I can call my own. In case you want to contact him for a similar problem, or all other infertilty issues, you can reach him through his email:
      DRONIHASPELL@YAHOO.COM or call him on +2347089275769

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  2. I thank you so much for sharing your journey, you are not alone. Sending you so much love dear friend and praying for you and dustin!

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  3. oh friend, i am sitting here tears streaming down my face. my heart is with you so much! While I have not struggled with infertility my best friend has and I know the hurt and pain your feeling all too well. You are certainly at the top of my prayer list. I know God will grant you the desires of your heart even if it is not on your time! Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate and difficult part of your life!

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  4. Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry you are going through this struggle. I have no idea how you must be feeling but you are in my thoughts and I pray you receive the good news you deserve very soon

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  5. Ugh I had a whole response typed up and my screen blacked out, but I'm gonna attempt it again.

    I'm praying so hard for you guys--I've been thinking about you often since you told me about the negative test and I haven't reached out enough to check on you (part of me just didn't want to bring it up if you weren't thinking about it), but you know that I'm always here for you.
    I also want to tell you how proud I am of you for sharing this! Doing so is going to feel so freeing for you, it will help others going through the same thing, and it is also going to offer you lots of support and love in an overwhelming way.
    I have faith that you guys are destined to be parents. It is SO hard to not have control over something that you want so desperately, but I think it's wonderful that you are looking for the positives in a really difficult journey. You are stronger than you know, and you are brave.
    Sending you love and hugs today and every day!

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  6. Sarah, I am so sorry. I am a faithful reader but don't ever comment. I will be praying for you and Dustin, just know that you are touching SO many people by sharing this, what a wonderful testament of your faith, for both of you! Many, many hugs...

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  7. Oh girl I am so so sorry you are going through this. I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy. This post brings back sooo many memories for me. I will be praying for you guys daily and please know that you can contact me at any time for questions, to vent, or just to talk. I found that no one truly understood how I was feeling unless they had gone through it themselves. You are so brace to open up and make this public! That was the best thing I could have possibly done for myself... I can't tell you how many women reached out and said they were struggling as well but had no one to talk to. Keep your head up! Your miracle babies are coming in His perfect timing!

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  8. The lengths and struggles you've endured are far beyond what we did. My prayers for you and Dustin will continue. Your story is being written by God every step of this process, and your faithfulness is inspiring. Sharing this will reach so many others that you can connect with and be an encouragement to. You are beautiful and strong my friend! Much love!!

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  9. I am so sorry you're experiencing this struggle. I will be praying for you and for God to send you a perfect baby.

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  10. Continuing to pray for you and love you!! This is so beautifully written and such an incredible testimony of faith. You're an amazing woman of God and I can only imagine the extra pep in his step that Dustin has knowing that his wife is such a rockstar!

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  11. You're (all - you, your hubby and your future babies) are in my prayers. I've had a struggle the past 6 months with finding a job. Applied at over 25 places, had 2 interviews and nothing - YET! I keep reminding myself that it will happen in His time. He already knows the place and time and what my job will be and I just have to trust in Him. I listen to MercyMe's song Even If on replay some days because I know He has this. I also go to my favorite verses - James 1:2 and Romans 8:28 and draw peace from them knowing that my faith has grown and changed me. ❤️

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    1. That song always seems to come on exactly when I need it! Hillary Scott's "Thy Will" has been so helpful too! When you do get your job, you'll be able to look back and see how God has used that season of life to grow you closer to Him.

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  12. So many prayers Sarah. Thank you for sharing! I have faith for y'all!

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  13. I am so sorry you are struggling with this! I just hopped over to read from Victoria's blog. Your faith is inspiring and I hope it continues to carry you through this difficult journey. My husband and I also struggled with infertility. We did a failed IUI and because of his numbers they suggested jumping straight to IVF. It was a daunting process. Constant, constant delays and so much to put your body and mind through. I had a ton of eggs on retrieval and got hyperstim, so a fresh transfer was not an option. We decided to genetically test all of our embryos and I was shocked that only half of them were normal. My body rested for about two months and then I had to start some shots, not as bad, to get ready for a frozen transfer. We only transferred one and it took. I thought I would share that my clinic here is leaning towards always recommending frozen transfers so your body has time to rest. If you're heading for that route, I pray pray pray it works for you. Do not give up! Keep the faith. You are so strong! ❤️

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    1. I have read about FET and may do that next time. Thank you for the advice!

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  14. Oh Sarah, my heart just broke for you! I'm so glad you shared your story - it took a lot of bravery but it really can help you to share it and help others - when we experienced a few losses when trying I would google and search everywhere and felt comforted by other girls out there experiencing the same and I'm sure there are girls out there that this post will bring comfort to as well! There is no worse feeling than seeing that spotting and just knowing your feeling is right as well as experiencing that loss - I just wanted to jump through the computer screen and give you a big hug at that point! It's okay to be sad, angry, have those bad days - you deserve to, it's all part of it but I so loved how strong of a faith you both have and how you've shared that! God is still working on your plan and it will be great!! You guys are at the top of my prayer list and sending lots of love to you!

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  15. Oh, friend, you are so brave for sharing this, and I hate that y'all are walking through this. I wish I knew some magic words to make it better, but I'll just say that you're on my prayer list, and I know God will move when it's time (which is like the hardest and worst thing to hear, I know!). Your continued faith is so inspiring and keeping hanging in there! The waiting is the hardest part!

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    1. The waiting is the hardest but I've found that it can be the sweetest!

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  16. Prayers for you and Dusty! We love our Mrs. Shaneyfelt!

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  17. Oh love, thanks for sharing your struggle. Praying for you right now that you get your miracle. Know you are not alone. I know that no two stories are the same but I love to share my sister's story as hope for others. My sister conceived my nephew after 10 years of marriage and several failed IVF rounds at age 35. A beautiful boy who has brought us so much happiness. While they had eggs stored and planned to have another transfer in the future they were focusing on enjoying my beautiful nephew when God showed them he is in control and blessed them with a pregnancy, no meds or anything ... I now have a nephew and a niece, two years apart. God is good, his plans are better than ours and I am praying so many strong prayers for you blessing!

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  18. I know that nothing anyone can say will take away your pain, but I am so very sorry for the loss of your two sweet babies, and the pain you are going through.

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  19. Ugh girlfriend - there's not much more to say than that infertility just straight up sucks :(. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I'm a loyal reader from Chicago whose never commented before but you are very brave to share and have provided me with encouragement that I'm not alone. We're waiting to start our first IUI next month and the only way to accurately describe the last year has been "roller coaster". Anger, calm, sadness, anxiety, frustration, GUILT (the most surprising emotion for me - when I couldn't feel happy for my pregnant friends), ugh, it's so hard. Particularly for the type A's...I'll be praying for you that your journey to a baby is coming to a happy end SOON. And I'll pray for wisdom that you feel guided to the next right move along the way. Just a few small things that have helped me thus far: Philipians 4:4-7, Romans 8:26 (NIV) - when you just don't know what or how to pray anymore, and Hillsong's "Transfiguration" (and Oceans of course) on repeat. We'll get through this friend. I promise.

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    1. Praying for you as you begin this journey and praying that you get pregnant soon! The only thing that makes it possible is resting in who God is!

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  20. Sarah, I read your blog daily and never really comment, but I just wanted to let you know you are in my prayers! I'm praying God will give you a miracle in His perfect timing and that He will give you peace during the waiting!

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  21. I am a newer reader and I have never commented. THANK YOU for posting this. I am going through something similar now and it is so hard and I feel like I have nobody to talk to. I have plenty of friends and family that I know would be supportive, but it just feels weird..like if we were a "normal" fertile couple we wouldn't discuss it ahead of time with them. You are so right, with infertility you are robbed of the ability to "surprise" your loved ones with the big news. I feel like I have had to put so much thought, planning and effort into something I thought would happen so easily and naturally. Again, thank you for sharing. Even though I do not know you personally it does feel good to know I am not alone. I will be thinking of you and your husband. Best wishes to you both.

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  22. You are so unbelievably brave and strong and courageous in so many ways! You and Dustin have such an inspiring testimony of Christ's love and steadfastness, and I look forward to the day that both of you get to experience parenthood - because as you said, it's all in His timing, and he's shaping y'all for one seriously blessed journey. Praying for you!

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  23. Thank you for sharing this! Infertility is so hard. I am praying for you and Dustin. My husband and I struggled for 6 years, with me ultimately having a hysterectomy 2 months before my 30th birthday earlier this year. On the flip side my best friend had a miscarriage, no pregnancies, then 9 years later had a beautiful baby girl, 4 months later she was pregnant with a wonderful baby boy. God has amazing plans for you both. Keep the faith. I found sharing my struggles was not easy but it helped. It helped me to know others were praying for me. My prayer for you and Dustin is that you trust in Him and His timing and His plans. I still have people pray for me 5 months after my hysterectomy because accepting that something I desired for so long is never going to happen is hard.

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    1. Nicole, I am so, so sorry. Sharing today has been so encouraging. Know that I'm praying for you, also.

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  24. Sweet Sarah....my heart is breaking for you but celebrating your trust in God at the same time. I cannot even imagine this suffering. I have been reading along with First 5 this past week or so and it has been a study over Job..and one day the quote was "if our blessing isn't about us, our suffering isn't either"-whitney capps. Both are all about God and through your suffering and sharing your trust in him you have the ability to show his true power. I will be praying hard and lifting you and Dustin up sweet girl along with your momma because I know how much her heart must also be hurting along with you. Sending love!

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  25. When this post popped up in my reader this morning, my heart immediately broke for you. I am so, so sorry to hear the trial that you and Dustin are currently going through. A few close friends of mine have gone through similar journeys and it is so hard and doesn't seem fair at all. I'm praying for strength, for guidance, and for favor on both of you and your future children.

    I'm not sure if this helps at all, so if it doesn't disregard it, but one of my close friends recently found out she had endometriosis, had surgery, and tried everything without any luck. They ended up conceiving without any intervention and her baby boy is due in a few months after three years of tears and frustration. My mom also had severe endometriosis on all of her female organs but still ended up having two healthy pregnancies. Don't lose hope! I feel like that's the thing that is the hardest to hold on to when everything feels so out of control, frustrating, and overwhelming.

    As you mentioned, struggling with infertility really does take the joy / surprise out of getting pregnant but I am praying so hard that God will renew this in you and allow things to work out -- He knows the desires of your heart and wouldn't place them there without a purpose.

    As a newish reader, I have enjoyed your blog so much and have also enjoyed interacting with you over on IG. Keep me posted on how things are going -- you're in my thoughts and prayers. <3

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  26. I am so sorry you are facing this struggle right now. Sending prayers to both you and Dustin.

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  27. I am new to your blog, and just wanted to say that I feel for you! I have not had the same struggle, but I have a newfound respect for it lately. We've been thinking about adoption, and in doing so I started following some adoptive families that are also trying IVF. I just watch a wonderful family go through the process and end up with a negative, also. They are a wonderful comfort to couples dealing with infertility, and an amazing family. If you like vloggers, check them out - their YouTube name is Phil and Alex.

    I'm so sorry for your loss, and I wish you much luck, love, and happiness as you work through this! xo

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  28. You are so brave, obedient and admirable for sharing this story. I've been following a long for over a year but had no idea you were going through this. I will add y'all to my prayer list! Praying specifically for comfort, encouragement and joy that comes from God alone. Sending so much love your way from Texas!

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  29. Sarah, my heart breaks for you. You are so brave to share your story and you have no idea just how many women you have comforted because of it. I have never experienced infertility, but our very first pregnancy did end in miscarriage and I just know that during those dark months following, the only thing that made me feel a little bit better was knowing that I wasn't alone.

    Do you know that every single night Olivia and I pray for my friends who are struggling with infertility and we are currently praying for five women? FIVE. That number is just shocking to me. We will now be praying for six as I am adding you to our prayer list tonight. I pray that you will both be blessed with a healthy little one soon and I pray that in your time of waiting you can continue to trust in God's plan for you.

    My very favorite bible verse is Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. It applied to me during my dark time of waiting after our miscarriage and it still applies to many aspects of my life today. Praying for peace for you.


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  30. One of the first things that came to mind when I read this was "WOW. You truly, truly NEVER know what someone is going through." You are so positive on your blog and IG and in general (even though I haven't seen you in a few years!) and I would have NEVER guessed your were dealing with such heartache. I echo Lindsay above that I have three friends I'm praying really hard for DAILY for a baby, and because you've shared this publicly, I'm adding you to my list. I can't wait to celebrate with you when you become a mom. I cannot pretend to know what this pain is like, but your outlook and faith is genuine and encouraging. I know first-hand what it's like to share a story that you're terrified of to share (I was literally shaking and sobbing as I published Hadley's near-drowning story), so I am so proud of you for hitting publish on this!!! Love you girl.

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  31. I'm so sorry you have been going through this struggle. You've had a rough road, and I hope and pray that you will have good news soon. My heart broke as I read your honest words in this post.

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  32. I'm so sorry to hear this and for everything you've had to go through so far. I know it must be devastating for people who are trying so hard to get pregnant when others are pregnant all the time it seems or having unexpected pregnancies. You'll be a great mom when the time comes though!

    -Lauren
    www.shootingstarsmag.net

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  33. Sarah, I'm so sorry. Keeping y'all in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing this intimate and raw journey. Hugs!

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  34. I am so so glad that you shared this. Having gone through 7 years of fertility treatments and recurrent pregnancy losses I have learned that it is so important to share the journey. You have no idea how many people you have helped with this post. I am sending lots of love your way. This is a journey that no one should have to experience but if they have to they shouldn't have to do it in the dark.

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    1. Jen, I'm so sorry to read that and know that I will be praying for you too! Thank you for sharing with me!

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  35. It broke my heart that right after reading the title of your post, you stated that you were nervous to share. But I know you have helped many women feel like they are not alone by pushing past your initial hesitation. I have known several people (one who now has five kids) who struggled who immediately got pregnant with baby number two after having their first child. So, when you do get your miracle baby, be careful with baby number 2 ;) And when you (God willing) hold your baby, you're going to think it was worth the wait. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  36. Oh Sarah, I am so sorry! Thank you for being willing to share this on such a public forum. To be honest with you one major reason why Chris and I have not started trying for a baby yet is because I am so terrified of infertility. I don't want to try and to be disappointed. But reading this, I realize that it's not in my control and that I do have to trust God, and no matter what-He is good. Thank you for sharing. If you ever just need to talk, I'm more than happy to chat or we can meet up for a cup of coffee-I'm usually in your neck of the woods a couple times a year & would be more than happy to share your burdens with you, that's what God calls Christians to do-carry each other's burdens!

    -Jordyn

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  37. Oh Sarah, what a testimony you have to share to help others as well. I'm sorry for your struggles, b it like you already know, God's timing is perfect! I have friends that went through the same struggles. Went through fertility Drugs with no results. Then after they stopped with no results, she became pregnant, ended up with 3 children and then had her tubes tied! Stress can do so much to your body. I know God will bless you with your hearts desires because that is His promise! I love you sweet girl and pray for that perfect timing to be sooner than later! Hugs!

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  38. Sarah, I'm so sorry to hear this. Thank you for being so brave and sharing y'all's story. You and Dustin are in our prayers, daily. Keep the faith girl, you're going to be an amazing mom one day!

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  39. Oh goodness Sarah! What a tough post!! Thanks for being so rave to share it with everyone. I will be praying hard that God's timing prevails and it doesn't afford much more pain on your end. I know He has this! So encouraging that you are trusting in his plan!

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  40. Sarah, you and Dustin will be in my prayers. Your being angry was a natural human experience.
    Our son, Shain and his wife went thru the exact same but was told they would never have children.
    They too were devastated as well as the family. His wife and I talked about this heartbreak. I encouraged to just go and live their life to the fullest. Within a couple, of monthsGod placed a baby inside her womb. Being very careful during her pregnancy. They are now the parents of the most beautiful boy. God is alive...it is God's hands; keep believing, trusting and pulling your strength through God.

    May God Bless the both of you.

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  41. Sarah, I'm so sorry you and Dustin are having these struggles, everything happens for a reason and I'm very much a firm believer in that. I also believe and know (which I'm sure you do as well) that God doesn't give you anything you won't be able to handle even if it does feel impossible are certain times. Much love and prayers sweetie!

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  42. I'm sure this was an incredibly difficult thing to share. It is testament to how brave you are. I am keeping you both in my prayers.

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  43. You are so strong to share such an emotional & personal trial.
    You are helping others through your story... Thank you!
    Corrie ten Boom wrote a poem "The Tapestry Poem"-- the title is
    "Life is but a Weaving". This poem hangs on my wall in my office & I look at it VERY often & I have to remind myself that I can only control so much in my life & I need to trust in GOD, his timing, & his plan.
    I will never be a "mom" and it's painful to know that (& accept that)-- I know that I am touching many children's lives & I have faith that one day- I will understand why my "dreams" and "plans" didn't go as I had planned & wished for.
    You are loved by many, in our prayers & LOVED BY GOD.

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  44. I stumbled upon your post from Victoria Strader's blog and I just wanted to let you know I am praying for you. My sisters and I are products of IVF, as my mom battled infertility due to endometriosis for 10 years. I had tears streaming down my face as I read just thinking about my mom's situation and knowing how badly she wanted her babies on Earth. Thank you so much for being so brave to share your story. Remember that no matter what happens, our God is a good God and there is no pain that you are experiencing that He cannot handle.

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  45. Thank you so much for sharing this!! I'm so encouraged by how you're trusting the Lord and still know that He is good even in the hard times!! Praying for continued peace during this hard time!

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  46. I am so sorry you are going through this. Thank you for bravely sharing your personal story. Unfortunately, I too, know the longing of wanting a child & to be pregnant. I celebrate for others who get pregnant but also wish it was me (especially if they easily conceive or don't even want to be pregnant/have children!) unlike you, our ins does not cover Ivf & we cannot afford it, so we wait & trust the Lord and hope and pray for a sweet baby! I will pray for you and your husband as y'all trudge this terrible journey. I claim Ephesians 3:20-21 & know that even if not, God is still good. So so good! He is enough is hard to swallow at times but always true!

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    Replies
    1. I am so sorry that you're having to go through infertility, too. Yes, even when our season of life isn't what we want it to be, He's still sovereign over it. Unfortunately, our insurance doesn't cover IVF either and there's not an insurance that does in the state of AL. Our insurance only covers a good bit of the price of the medicine....that's all.

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  47. I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles with infertility. I teared up reading your journey so far. We also struggled for years to get pregnant with our kids. The details of our stories are different, but it tugged at my heart strings to read your story. It's such an emotional roller coaster, but looking back I can see God's timing working out perfectly for our family. I had big plans for myself/my family and I can now say that God's plans were better than my plans. Thanks for including us in your story so we can lift you guys up in prayer. I have a long list of friends who are currently struggling to get pregnant. I'm adding you to my prayer list now! Thank you for sharing your story to grow your family. Thinking of you!!

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  48. So glad you have decided to share your struggle so that others can add you to their pray list. I will know the joys of being a mama and I will pray daily for you and your husband to continue to focus on you faith and for success in becoming parents. God is good all the time.

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  49. Sarah, my heart hurts hearing all that you and your husband have been going through. You are brave and courageous to share your story! Even though I don't know what it's like to walk what you're going through, I can relate to walking through difficult times, and your faith encourages me so much!!! I am praying for you and Dustin!

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  50. With the help of a man called Dr.Ogbes I was able to get pregnant. i'm 56years of age, it was really difficult for me to pregnant though my husband loves me but it was really hurting me not having my own child but after many years I came across Dr.Ogbes whose email address is Landofanswer@hotmail.com or you reach him direct on his cell phone number +2347050270227 he told me he is going to send me a Herbs for me to drink, and will fall pregnant a week after drinking the Herbs I'm 7months pregnant now and also I will like to advice everyone looking for help to get pregnant to contact this very man via his email address at Landofanswer@hotmail.com or call him on his cell phone number +2347050270227.

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  51. My partner and I have been trying for a baby for over 11years, We were going to a fertility clinic for years before somebody told me to contact this spell caster who is so powerful called Agbazara Temple for him to help me get pregnant,And I'm glad we contacted DR.AGBAZARA, Because his pregnancy spell cast put us at ease, and I honestly believe him, and his powers really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email at: ( agbazara@gmail.com ) if you are trying to get a baby, he has powers to do it.

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  52. Hello dear women out there in the world trying to concieve a child or wanting to cure diseases affecting your ability to concieve, Don’t think of anything else just contact Dr.Osagie and purchase some of his herbal medicines and your depression will absoluely go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to concieve due to Fibroid disease and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the priest told me what to do in order to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and gave me the chance to become a proud mother, Dr.Osagie is a great spiritualist because of him today I'm a mother of two. He did it for me and more other woman round the world thats because it is how i got to him through their own testimonies. i give you mine now you can contact Dr.Osagie on (DROSAGIE99@gmail.com) or Via whatsapp or phone call, (+2349070977669). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::
    1. Fibroid, Hysterectomy, Asthma, All STD, sinus infection, unexplain miscarriage, fibromyalgia.
    2.High Blood Pressure (herbs to reduce your BP within 7days)
    3. Infection, regular body pains (yeast infection), urine tract infection. Thyroid infection, Skin infection Herbal cream
    4. Blockage from the fallopian Tube, Herbs to untied womb,Hepatitis
    5. Cyst from the ovaries, PCOS
    6. Unpleasant smell from the virginal, virginal itching
    7. Irregular menstruation, painful period

    Simply contact the spiritualist Dr.Osagie on (DROSAGIE99@gmail.com)or(+2349070977669) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..
    thank you it's been a pleasure sharing.

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  53. Am Hellen, thanks to Dr oniha who cured me of fallopian tube blockage and fibroid with his herbal tuber cleanser. My marriage was on the verge of collapsing, because I was unable to bear a child for my husband. Until I came across Dr ONIHA's recommendation onLine,of how he has helped numerous of childless couples to have children with the help of his wonderful herbal medication, and I contacted him. And he administered his herbs on me.within the space of two months, i became pregnant, I now have a child I can call my own. In case you want to contact him for a similar problem, or all other infertilty issues, you can reach him through his email:
    DRONIHASPELL@YAHOO.COM or call him on +2347089275769

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  54. I completely understand how it feels to be dismissed at church by people who are “trying their best”...

    I just renewed my temple recommend and I don’t know what I was expecting but I wanted to express that my testimony is waiting because of all of this crap... every time I brought up a way I was struggling I was dismissed with a “you’re fine, you’re doing fine...” but no substance behind the “it’s fine”... I walked out with the recommend but right now that piece of paper makes me feel like a phony. My testimony isn’t where it was 10, 5, or even 3 years ago... I feel it slipping away from me. Part of me doesn’t even care, part of me feels guilty for not progressing and part of me is devastated that something that used to be such an integral part of my life feels like just a side note now but i am grateful for my colleague who directed me to the herbalist doctor Dr.Osagie Momohsanni who has helped me out with his strong herbal medicines today i am a proud mother after many tries in 8 years. i was beginning to get diver-stated when it all came to me like a miracle all thanks to Dr.Osagie with his help towards my life, may God continues to bless the work of your hand and i will recommend this great herbalist to those out there who find them self not being able to get pregnant.Always remember that God listens to our prayer even if it does not happen spiritually but he sends people to help us in life. you can get to this doctor through phone call on +2349038036558 or email on DROSAGIE99@gmail.com .

    ReplyDelete

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