Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Keeping Your Marriage Strong

When I was younger, I remember hearing people say that relationships take work.  And I always wondered what they meant by that.  Surely when you're with the right person, everything is easy, right?  



After 2.5 years of marriage, I finally understand what everyone meant by having to work at your relationship.  Even if your spouse is the greatest person in the world, you're both two broken people coming together in a marriage that's going to be imperfect.

I thought about writing this post from my point of view on how Dustin and I keep our marriage strong, but I also wanted his point of view on marriage since Dustin and I think differently.  So my answers are first and his answers are second, and we answered the same questions.



How do we work on our marriage?
I believe that our marriage is at its best when we love Jesus more that we love each other.  When I am consistent with my quiet time and prayer time and time in the Word, I'm able to love Dustin better because I'm kinder, more patient, and I want to put his needs before my own.

Right before we got married, my grandfather gave me advice about marriage.  I remember interviewing my Gran when I was in the 6th grade about their marriage for a school project and learning that my grandparents met, dated, and got married all within one month and 17 days.  My grandparents stayed married until my Gran passed away the summer after 6th grade, so I greatly valued the advice my Popo told me about marriage.  He said that marriage is about compromise and you need to give more than you take.

What has been the easiest thing about marriage?
I know this probably sounds so cliche but I think just being married is pretty much easy.  Yes it takes work but mostly it's just easy.  We just fit together really well.

What has been the hardest thing about marriage?
Realizing that everything can't be the way I've always done something.  We didn't start dating until I was 24 and got married when I was 26, so I had pretty much already established a routine and a way I did things.  Plus I'm pretty Type A about certain things.  Then marrying Dustin threw a kink in some of the ways I do things or take care of things because he's basically like a bull in a china shop.  So I work a lot on not micro-managing and just letting go.  Like folding towels.  If he randomly folds the towels, then I have to let it go that it's not the way I fold them or even put them away.

What advice would you give to an engaged couple about marriage?
Love Jesus first and everything else falls into place



How do we work on our marriage?
We try to figure out how we're both built and what makes us drive.  But really church and our faith being first.

What has been the easiest thing about marriage?
The extra security from a financial standpoint with both of our salaries

What has been the hardest thing about marriage?
Two alpha-dominant individuals--knowing that everything can't always be my way and to give in.

What advice would you give to an engaged couple about marriage?
To love unconditionally, to be able to work things out.  You're never going to be perfect and you're going to have disagreements but to do it in love.  And to be in God's Word.


Linking up with Shay, Erika, and Jenn

16 comments:

  1. You both have faith and god in your answers - definitely shows your on the same page! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  2. Love the idea of getting his take on this, too!

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  3. Brilliant to do this with your man, shows that you two have a pretty good idea of what it takes and I love that you put God first. That's the main key right there. You're both beautiful inside and out!!

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  4. Loved the idea of having both of y'all answer!! What a great foundation y'all have!

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  5. your answers are great Really enjoyed your post! I hope you can check my post out as well!

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  6. Love Jesus and everything else will fall into place -- yes yes yes! I agree! Having Christ at the center of all your relationships is exactly what you need for them to be a success.

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  7. I like when you said it just works...that's how I feel about our marriage. Sure we disagree and such, but we just have fun together and it's always been good and "easy" to some degree

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  8. I feel the same way that marriage is easy. When I've told people that I'm the past, they look at me like I'm crazy and think I'm making that up. When you find someone that you fit perfect with it comes natural! Love how you got his perspective too!!

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  9. Love this!! Totally agree on your easy comment. Sure, there are hard days but overall we just work like that too and it's so nice. It takes a lot of compromise and work but it's totally worth it! I think you're right about something else too. The more I read my bible, go to church and stay in prayer, the better wife I am able to be.

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  10. I love my husband more than anything in the world and he makes marriage easy, but marriage, itself, is work! And I'm truly grateful for that work though because we work together to make our marriage what we want. Love this :)

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  11. After 15 years of marriage and 4 kids- yes, marriage takes work! We both love each other, but it takes work on both sides to keep things going :)

    Jen
    jpabstfitness.com

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  12. Yes! Putting God ahead of everything else really does help everything fall into place. And I totally feel you on the "fitting together" thing... that's how I feel about B and me. I just feel like we were made for each other. We balance each other out.

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  13. Sweet answers! I loved hearing from both of you and your point about compromising. I like things my way so that's always an area that I can work on :)

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  14. The towels comment made me giggle...I am so that person too. :)

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